


Strawhat Phone Calls

by StrawhatsAndDelibirds



Category: One Piece
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-06 07:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5407766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrawhatsAndDelibirds/pseuds/StrawhatsAndDelibirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mostly just shenanigans with Transponder Snails and Luffy not knowing how indoor voices work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Promises were just one of those things where they were really hard to keep. Most notably when they were made to children while you were drunk. Admittedly children should not be around anyone who’s drunk, but in this case they at least had sober people to keep the peace and it wasn’t like he was all that drunk.

Though seemed as though he may have been drunker than he thought. He knew this because of how the room was spinning and how he felt like he was going to vomit. He didn’t because he was pretty sure that if he did his head would explode. So he may have over done it a little. This wasn’t a problem that a little morning rum wouldn’t fix. At the rate he drank, he’d probably have to stay at least a little buzzed until he died so he wouldn’t have to actually deal with a hangover. The best part about being a pirate was that you didn’t have to be responsible. He just wouldn’t tell Benn about this plan. Because unfortunately he was responsible despite being a pirate.

But this wasn’t about him being mildly day buzzed. This was about being a man of his word and showing up for Luffy. He wasn’t quite sure how much fun he’d be while he was nursing a wicked hangover. Maybe he could find a nice quiet game for them to play together. Or rather, something quiet for Luffy to do while he waited for his buzz to kick in and then they could do something.

As surprising as it was the first time to see a child as young as him in the bar mostly unsupervised, now it was mostly just par for the course. He still hadn’t gotten a clear answer as to who took care of him and it seemed as though he’d never actually get an answer. He settled on pretty well everyone in the village took care of him, but mostly it was Makino who took care of him. Who knew there were actual literal cases of the old expression ‘it takes a village’? Asking Luffy only got a shrug before the kid moved onto things he felt was more interesting.

If the kid didn’t want to tell him, then he’d let it be. Though part of him felt inclined to believe that Luffy just didn’t care now that he had cool new pirate friends. Damn, it was going to be really hard to just leave him here. He’s really come to like this kid and at this point he might as well be one of his own. Shanks had to wonder if this was how Roger felt when he had found him. Granted he was older than seven at the time, so it wasn’t completely reckless. Maybe he could come back in a few years and offer the kid a place on his crew.

Nah. He could tell that this kid was going to be something special all on his own. He’d just let him do his own thing when he got old enough. Just that look in his eye reminded him of how Roger was, not to mention he had his same passion and excitement. Nah, Luffy didn’t need to hang around with an old timer like him. When the time came, Luffy was without a doubt going to turn this world on its head just like his captain did.

Unfortunately, just like Roger he was the worst person to be hungover around. Not only was he loud and excitable, but he was also easily bored and looking for something to do. This meant that he as the “responsible adult” (don’t worry, he also found this thought to be hilarious) to find something for him to do.

Because within seconds of him coming in and sitting down, Luffy materialized in and was climbing all over him demanding attention. He knew he had materialized in because there was no way he had snuck in quietly because Luffy didn’t do anything quietly unless he was focusing really hard. And even then he hummed the entirety of the time. One of these days he was going to have to teach people that teaching children black magic was a bad idea. It only lead to the suffering of the poor hungover souls like himself.

“I’ll never get how you always have so much energy first thing in the morning.” He mused, lifting an arm to let the child hang off of it.

“But it’s eleven. I’ve been up for hours. Don’t tell me you’ve been asleep all this time. Wow, you really must be old.” The filterless child stated. That mouth of his was going to get him in trouble one day, there was no doubt about that. He was lucky that he was in a caring (but mostly hungover) mood so he’d let it slide and let the little turd go unnoogied for now. That might change later when it was gone.

Makino peeked her head out from the back room.

“Oh! The usual?” She asked with a bit of a chuckled. And once again Makino had proven to be a goddess sent from on high. A booze bringing goddess. He didn’t even have to answer because she already knew. She was already preparing the rum for him and the orange juice for Luffy. Luffy had his own tab going, and probably has for a while. This gave him an idea.

“Hey Luffy. You know a real pirate always repays his debt. I know that you’ve gotten quite the debt here, and it looks like Makino could use a little bit of a hand. It’s not easy running a restaurant all by yourself, y’know.” He said. Usually repaying a debt to a pirate meant killing some asshole who thought they could best you, but Luffy didn’t have to know that. He watched as Luffy took in all this new knowledge of being a pirate. It almost made him feel guilty for tricking the kid like this. Almost being the key word here. Luffy was going to have to learn at some point that some people were just assholes and you shouldn’t trust everything they say because they’re messing with you.

However today wasn’t the day, as soon Luffy had let go of his arm and run around behind the counter. Naturally Makino found it too adorable to say no, so soon he was being fitted with a little waist apron that had been folded over a time or two so that when he ran around he wouldn’t trip over it. The kid was probably going to trip anyways, seeing as though he only ever really ran anywhere. But hey, it was one less thing for him to trip over.

Soon Luffy was running around with a cloth, scrubbing the floor. Makino had offered him a mop, but Luffy was dead set on doing it this way because he had seen some of the men on Shanks’s ship do it that way. He simply didn’t have the heart to tell him that they were doing it that way because they were being punished for starting pointless fights and making it so they had to get off the last island they were on sooner than they had to as not to get in a pointless battle with Marines.

Also it was funny. His reasoning was mostly for the latter. Being a pirate meant you could also be an asshole to whoever you please, and this was mostly just harmless fun.

Not to mention that karma is a swift and cruel mistress, as when the phone rang, it was Luffy who had answered as he was the closest. And he found it exciting to talk on the phone as it was something that he rarely got to do. And that meant that any hope of him quietly humming in concentration as he scrubbed the floors with a cloth was gone and instead he was now yelling into the transceiver.

“HI! I’M LUFFY! WHO’RE YOU!?” He greeted excitedly. Phone skills were something they were going to have to work on. Volume control was something else. He couldn’t help but wince as Luffy yelled. He loved the kid, but man was he the worst to be around with the tail end of a hangover.

“Hey Luffy. You know real pirates have indoor voices. How else are the parties supposed to get rowdy if you’re never quiet?” Luffy narrowed his eyes, as if for a split second doubting what he was just told. Though it was quickly dismissed.

“She’s right here, I’ll go get her.” Luffy whisper yelled into the transceiver. It wasn’t what he had in mind, but he wasn’t really one to look a gift horse in the mouth. “Makino, they wanna talk to you.”

Makino didn’t seem to have much of a problem with it, finding the behavior cute as she thanked the boy and took the phone from him. He then returned to scrubbing with the same enthusiasm he had before.

It’d probably be something that he’d eventually grow out of. But oh man, it was one of the most hilariously adorable things he had ever seen, and he was going to tell everyone about it. He was glad he was still hungover, because if he laughed, then it would have been all over then and there. This was probably the first time in his life he was going to say this, but thank god he was hungover.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

There were a lot of upgrades that the Sunny had that Merry did not. It was nothing against the Merry. She was a good ship and a strong ship to have made it that far, but there were just too many people on board for her and she had done a lot of things that she wasn’t built to do. She was missed dearly, even now, but one of the upgrades that the Sunny had meant that she got to live on forever with them while the Sunny took on all of the more difficult tasks that she had been built to handle head on.

But one of those upgrades wasn’t one that was the main focus right now. Rather it was one that the Merry could’ve easily had, but they were too broke to have, and no one got around to stealing one. The Sunny had a transponder snail. And while it was something that was mostly ignored because calls could be tracked and they could be ambushed. It didn’t need to be explained as to why it’d be a bad thing to end up being arrested and then executed so close to the New World and the One Piece itself.

Well, at least the prospect of an ambush was something that everyone had thought of, but whether Luffy knew or simply didn’t care was something up for debate. Luffy’s knowledge was something that constantly baffling them, and always took them by surprise.

It hadn’t been the first time that Luffy had gone off and made a call all on his own. During a bout of the flu, he had surprised everyone by remembering a number from a menu to tattle on Sanji for something he had done in a fever ridden state. It had helped them out immensely, but it didn’t make it any less stupid.

They would have thought that after something so dumb like that, that he would’ve learned his lesson, but really that was their first mistake. Luffy was not someone that would simply not do something because it was stupid. Especially if it was something that he wanted to do. Really they were equally as stupid to trust him not to do something like that. They were probably equally as stupid to leave him alone on the ship for a bit while they all went shopping. And that’s when Luffy gets the chance to cause the most mischief.

The fact that he had been board on the ship was probably one of the biggest factors in his misdemeanor, but arguably the biggest one in this situation was that “he was a pirate and did whatever he wanted because a pirate is free”, because that was most of the reason that he did things like this, no matter how stupid they were.

Actually Luffy’s reasoning for anything he did usually went: pirates are free, I don’t care about consequences, I want to do it. Talking him out of things once he had his mind set on something, was an impossible task to get him off of it. You were doomed to live his consequences and that was that.

But to bring us to what he was currently doing, was something that he had been told not to do on multiple occasions. He had gone into the galley, and was dialling up a number that even people on the crew wouldn’t recognize. It wasn’t from lack of being to that destination, but rather the lack of them having the same stupid talent that Luffy had that seemed to do little but make all their lives more difficult.

He dialed up the number that he had seen for but a single second in passing that one time he had gone to a restaurant in which one of his friends lived in the same island on. Most people would assume that since that person does not work in that restaurant, and rather probably won’t be over there because their island isn’t a small one, and they don’t live in that town. But Luffy wasn’t so easily dissuaded. He was going to continue his fool’s errand and he wasn’t one to care what the odds were.

“Nile’s diner, table for how many?” The man on the other end of the snail asked.

“Oh, I’m not here for a table. Is Vivi there?” Luffy asked in a loud whisper. There was a stunned silence on the other end. But Luffy waited for an answer.

“There isn’t a Vivi that works here, and this isn’t a personal line anyways. Is there an emergency or something?”

“Oh, nothing like that. This is just how you talk on the phone, stupid. I know that Vivi doesn’t work there. She’s the princess. Is she there?”

“No! She’s the princess! She’s probably back at the castle doing som-“ He stopped as the bell on the door rang as someone stepped in. And then he sputtered in shock. “Pr-Pr-Princess Vivi!?”

This was great news for him, seeing as this was the whole reason that he called in the first place. It seems that his devil’s luck had stuck again. Really what were the odds?

“Oh, hello Nile. I just stopped by to see how you were doing.” Luffy could hear her say faintly. Probably because she knew the rules about talking on the phone, and definitively not because she had just only stepped through the doorway and was far from the receiver.

“Hi Vivi!” Luffy loudly whispered at her, losing all interest in talking to Nile.

“Listen kid, the princess ain’t gonna just talk to any old smu-“

“Luffy? Is that really you?” She asked, her voice getting louder.

“You know this kid, your highness?”

“Just Vivi is fine. And yes, he’s a good friend of mine. He’s one of the hero’s that helped save Alabasta from Crocodile.”

“I’m not a hero! Hero’s have to share their meat, and I don’t wanna share my meat.” He argued, getting a chuckled out of Vivi. He didn’t get what was so funny, but whatever, he was just so glad to hear her again. It had been months.

“Alright, he’s the pirate that helped us with Crocodile with the help of his crew.”

“Yep! He was hurting my friend, and no one hurts my friends and gets away with it.” He proudly boasted. Getting another chuckle from Vivi.

“We’re very glad you did. I don’t think we could’ve done it without you. So what’s up? I wasn’t expecting to get a call from you.”

“We got a new ship, and it has a transponder snail. Everyone else went off to go shopping or something so I’m watching the boat and it’s boring. And I remembered that we have a transponder snail and that this place had its number in the menu and it was in Alabasta so I thought that this would be my best bet to call you.” There was some quiet and stunned murmuring from Neil the diner guy, but he was done talking to him so he paid him no mind.

“Luffy, how did you even remember this number? We didn’t even stop here for a day. And wasn’t this where you met up with your brother and were attacked by marines? Where did you find time to remember it?” She asked. He made a vague “I ‘unno” like sound.

“It was on the menu, why wouldn’t I remember it?” He said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, and that everyone could memorize a menu as easily as he could. She sighed, obviously forgetting what dealing with Luffy was like. This was all on her, because Luffy was always like this.

“I guess you have a point.” She said, giving in to his logic as that was the more simple solution to this mess. “So what have you been up to?”

“Well”

\-----------------------------

They had come back to the deck completely empty. It was their fault for leaving Luffy alone and unsupervised. They expected to come back to him complaining that they had taken forever, but it was concerningly silent. A quiet Luffy meant bad things almost without fail. They had only been gone for a few hours, so how much trouble could he had possibly managed in so short a time?

Everyone on the crew searched high and low for what on their end was a huge over sight.  They should’ve known better and now they could be in a lot of trouble. Because what was a few hours to them was more than enough time for him to cause trouble and make things awful for all of them probably by accident.

Robin’s powers were always a blessing, as she quickly found where he was. As opposed to freaking out that he was in trouble, he kept telling stories to Vivi in an oddly hushed tone for the usually loud voice he used for everyone else, and simply waved to the eyes of his archaeologist and continues on without skipping a beat.

Back on deck, Robin simply sighed. While it wasn’t the best thing, there were worse things for him to do. At least he had had enough sense not to phone the castle directly and raise suspicion, and the royal family of Alabasta were friends of theirs. There were worse people to call.

She gestured to the galley, and the rest of the crew took off to the galley to scold the captain. They were also good friends with her, so she supposed that she’d let them visit for a bit before Luffy ends up hanging up on her. She’d let them have this.


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn’t every day that she got time to take it easy like this. She had been hard at work learning the ins and outs of medicine, but it was well worth it. It was something that she could do to help others, and seeing as she was already incredibly wealthy, she didn’t really need to worry about her patients needing to worry about payment. It made her feel great knowing that something she was doing would be something that made a difference to a lot of people.

Their island didn’t really have a doctor, so that meant that someone would have to either go to a neighboring island to go get one, or they would have to go there themselves for treatment. It was just a terrible way to go about doing things, and more people died there then they should. It was unjust to think about, because maybe then people like Usopp’s mother would’ve made it, and Usopp could’ve lived a much happier life. She got to meet him because of it, but it was still unfair of him to have to deal with so much at such a young age.

And even the fact that getting the doctor made it difficult for most on the island. They simply lacked the funds to do it. It was one of the main reasons that she wanted to become a doctor. So no one should lose a loved one over something that could’ve easily been stopped.

But it would do no one any good if she worked herself to exhaustion and made it so that she couldn’t properly work. And as much as she wanted to keep working hard, she was already frail to begin with. Overexertion was always a looming threat. Even with the fact that she was feeling much better as of late, she was still a lot weaker than most. It was concerning, but breaks were taken often enough so that she didn’t put too much strain.

But today it was more so than usual. Merry had chastised her about working too hard, and even doing little bits of reading while she was on break and insisted that she join him for a walk around the village. Getting some fresh air would be nice. It’d be a nice change of pace from just sitting by an open window and being cooped up in her room studying.

She had to say, it was a really nice day outside. And the closer she got to town, the more she could smell the salty spray of the sea. She could only wonder how Usopp was doing. She had seen his bounty poster. Though it was a different name on it, she, Carrot, Onion, and Pepper, could all tell that it was him. There was an odd sense of pride, relief, and a bit of worry when they saw it. Because he was still alive, that was for sure, and he had gotten a lot stronger. But there was always that worry that went along with the fact that he had done something incredibly dangerous to get his bounty and that did worry her.

It came with the pirate’s life, but she still knew him as that kid with great aim and a great tongue for tales. He was never the confrontational type. It wasn’t really until Klahadore had revealed himself to be a pirate seeking out her fortune and ready to bring about her ruination that she got to see him stand up for his friends and his home. While in her eyes, that was more than enough to earn him the title of a brave warrior, she also had to admit that the “of the seas” part would be a lot harder to manage if he never went to sea. It didn’t make her miss him any less though.

The rest of the Usopp pirates had taken charge in his absence in alerting everyone in the village every morning that pirates were coming. It wasn’t quite the same, but it did keep everyone on schedule despite Usopp’s absence. She knew that one of these days he’d come back. And by then she knew that he could proudly call himself a brave warrior of the sea, alongside the king of the pirates himself. She had missed the fight, but she knew that Luffy had been strong enough to take down Klahador. Even if he looked rather childish and maybe even a little weak compared to some of the people you usually saw in bounty pictures, he was quite the force to be reckoned with.

She and Merry had decided to take a little break at one of the café’s in town. It was one that she had heard from countless people about just how good the food was, so now seemed as good a time as any to go out and try the food there. It wasn’t the kind of food that she normally ate, but a change of pace was good every now and again. She couldn’t just eat food that was prepared for her by her staff all of the time, regardless on how well they cooked. It was different, but different was a good thing.

She had only just begun to enjoy her meal, when one of the workers there told her that someone was on the transponder snail for her. It was odd, considering that she had no intentions on meeting anyone here, nor did she give out this number. If she was going to give out a number for someone to contact, it would’ve been her home phone. But regardless, she answered.

“Hello?”

“This is Luffy, I’m gonna be king of the pirates and Usopp’s captain. I just wanted to tell you something very important about him.” She could feel the worry in her chest weigh heavier and heavier with every single beat. As much as she was worried about what was going to be said, she just had to know. His tone was hushed, so it couldn’t be anything good in the least.

“What is it?”

“Usopp cheats at hide and seek. He doesn’t stay in one spot so you can’t ever find him unless you’re Robin and using your devil fruit powers like that is also cheating.” She sighed in relief and chuckled a restrained and refine chuckle. She had been so worried over something that had turned out to be so minor. Usopp was fine.

In the background on the other end, she could hear the shocked sounds of Usopp busting his captain tattling on him. She had to imagine it was quite the sight to see something like that happen. She heard the sound of a dull thud as something must’ve hit the ground on the other end. It was hard to tell exactly what it was, but judging by the response it got from Luffy, it must’ve belonged to him.

“Don’t listen to him. He’s just upset because I can actually do it while he always gets caught when he tries.” Usopp said, taking control of the other end of the transponder. She couldn’t help but chuckle. She was glad that he was having fun over there.

“Alright, but it’s good to hear from you again, Usopp. It’s been a while since we last spoke. I bet you have all kinds of new stories to tell.” She could tell from on this end of the phone that his chest swelled with pride when she said that. It didn’t take long before he was regaling her with epic tales of giants, and dinosaurs, and giant fish and aquatic mammals. He even told stories about meeting and befriending a skeleton and travelling to a city of gold a hundred thousand feet in the air. He even told of him aiding a friend of his who was a princess get her kingdom back and fighting a fishman all on his own. Not only that but how he also befriended a talking reindeer who was a doctor and a robot shipwright. There was a bit of silence before she spoke up again.

“Usopp, I love your stories, but you’ve already told me all of those ones already.” There was a full minute of silence, before Usopp started sputtering and trying to find a new story to tell her about what he’s done since he left.

“Well… I… I… I saw boobs!”

“Oh. Well… Good job?” She wasn’t quite sure what to make of that declaration. It didn’t really seemed to be something that you’d brag about to someone who you were in a relationship like theirs. Although it seemed about as factual as the rest of the stories he had been telling her.

“Yeah… big ones. Right Sanji?” There was a brief silence before he spoke up again in shrieks at his friend on the other end of the snail. “GAH! Don’t bleed to death! I need you to vouch for me and say that this really happened! Luffy come one! You were there too, right?”

“I dunno.”

“What do you mean you don’t- Oh Nami! Great timing. I need you to tell Kaya about the time I saw your bo-“ The sound that came after was a lot harder than the sound that she had heard earlier. What exactly was going on over there.

“Sorry Kaya. I’ll get Usopp to call you back. He’s in the middle of taking a nap right now. It’s a shame it happened so suddenly. You take care now.” And then the call ended.

One the bright side, someone on Usopp’s crew wouldn’t seriously hurt him. But there was still one fact that remained undisputed.

The pirate’s life truly was a dangerous one.


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

Ever since the fishmen had been driven from the island, business had been better than ever. Not only did they now have money of their own to spend and do with as they pleased without worry of not having enough to pay off the fishmen and avoid death at the end of the month, but now they also had people coming to and from the island. Some were pirates, some were marines, and there were some just travelling merchants and others of the sort. Even if it wasn’t always a good thing, it was great seeing new faces again. New faces meant more money was coming to the island, and their economy really needed the boost since the fishmen had practically bled them dry.

But even with all the new merchant with new goods coming to and from the island, a lot of the cuisine was still based around what they had on their island. There was a lot of fish, and quite a bit of your standard livestock like cattle and poultry. But the most important ingredient was tangerines.

 Over the years their little farm had gathered quite the fame on the island. It might’ve been because when she took over the farm she was too young to run it by herself, so they all sort’ve helped out. And by that she was old enough to do it, she had already managed to integrate tangerines into a lot of the cuisine on the island. And seeing as she was the only source of tangerines on the island, and trading wasn’t really that much of an option thanks to Arlong and his gang of thugs had all but isolated their island, that meant that her tangerines were the only option. Nami may have gone off to steal what she needed to free the island, but she was busy finding ways to get the most money possible in a completely legal way, that was more than a little fair to say the least.

But even if she did have a mostly stable source of income, her leftover money went to helping those who were short that month. Everyone on the island did, because they had to keep that sense of unity among them. She would’ve love to sneak some money in to help her sister, but Nami wasn’t the type to take money like that. She may have been money loving, but she was very specific about who she took money from. Every time she had tried to send her money, the money would just end up on the counter. She really was a proud woman.

It was probably part of the reason that her bounty was so high. She had been part of the Enis Lobby take down, but she doubted that she just sat around doing nothing. Even being a part of it would have landed you a nice big bounty. That was proof enough seeing as though their crew pet had even earned himself a bounty. Her accomplishments were something to be proud of. Especially since she had managed to get such a cute bounty picture. It was a little provocative, but it looks a lot better than most of the pictures. Genzo might not’ve approved, but she knew that deep down that he liked it too.

She couldn’t help but wonder how things were going for her. She was a tough girl who was used to being in danger, so she couldn’t say she was too terribly worried. She also had a really solid crew that was with her. She only really had the pleasure of meeting some of them, but they had grown since last they spoke. It was really something that they had managed to get someone who was already a known criminal to join them. She knew that that crew was really something else, but to get someone like Nico Robin to join you was really something else. It really spoke volumes to the kind of person that Luffy was. Had it been anyone else as captain, she’d be worried. But Luffy was strong, and if he wasn’t, Nami wouldn’t have trusted him with her life like this. Her sister was no fool, so she’d trust her decision and have faith in her. That’s really all she could do at this point.

But dwelling on these things wouldn’t do anything but worry her. She still had a job to do, and even if it wasn’t nearly as exciting as her sister’s job, it was still an important job. While she could easily hire someone to do the deliveries for her, but she was used to doing it herself, and she would rather save up money, just in case something like the Arlong Pirtates happen to the island again. Deliveries weren’t that hard to do anyways.

Today was the day that one of the local bistros was due for a delivery. It was a nice little place, and much like everyone on the island, had taken a liking to the Strawhat Pirates, and was easily one of the best place to catch any of the gossip on them. It was always interesting to hear what the latest information they got, even if it sounded completely ridiculous. But she couldn’t really say much on the subject considering that the Grand Line was like a completely different world. Really any of those rumors could be true. Even the most ridiculous ones.

But today wasn’t just an ordinary delivery, because for some just unforeseen reason, they got a call from deep in the Grand Line. They had gotten calls from as far as Goa before, but that was still in the same blue. To get one from that far was simply unheard of.  She had decided to just stop until they could get back to work, because it was really something else. To top it all off, there was another completely unexpected element to this situation. It was a voice that they both knew well enough to recognize. It was hard to forget the voice of someone who saved you village after all.

“Hey, is Nami’s sister or the pinwheel guy there?” The somewhat hushed voice of the Strawhat captain asked. Nojiko, who had just so happened to be within ear shot of the oddly loud whispered request of the captain. It was a tone that just didn’t sit well with her, and it could really only mean bad things for everyone involved. She set down her crate and walked over, taking the receiver.

“This is Nojiko, Nami’s sister. To what do we owe this pleasure? We don’t get a lot of calls from your neck of the woods.” Or really any at all. The Grand Line was just a complete mystery to most that lived outside of it.

“It’s about Nami.” That wasn’t surprising. She knew that that was why he was calling, because why else would he have any interest calling someone all the way back this early on their adventure. If she found out that he had just let something happen to her sister, she was personally going to go over to the Grand Line and kick his ass back to the East Blue.

“What about Nami? She’s not causin you too much trouble, is she?” She joked, hoping that somehow that that would be the case, and no doubt whatever awful thing it was that she was about to be told.

“She is! We’re stuck on this island for a whole extra week and I wanna keep adventuring! Tell her to knock it off!” He whispered loudly. Somehow, despite everything, she felt almost angry that he had called her like this and worried her like he did.

“So you phoned one of the restaurants that neither I nor Genzo work at?”

“Yes.” He said with whispered confidence, as if that were not one of the worst plans that she had ever heard. Probably second only to the fact that Nami sold herself into slavery to the Arlong Pirates who were no doubt going to betray her many a time, all for the sake of the village.

This was really unbelievable. He was really lucky that she was over here and not over there where she would’ve taught him a lesson

 

Luckily, even if she wasn’t there, it sounded like he did get his comeuppance. She could hear the sound of something that she was going to presume to be his head be hit with something that jangled as it moved. If she were to make an educated guess, she would say that that was probably Nami asserting herself over there and keeping her captain in line.

“Who the hell are you talking to?! You’re not supposed to use that transponder snail and you know that!” She heard Nami scold, confirming her suspicions. She was glad that she was still doing well on her end.

“He’s not even supposed to use it when he wants to tattle on his crew? Now that just seems unfair.” Nojiko chuckled as she teased them both. There was a surprised gasp from her little sister as she realized just who exactly she was talking to.

“Oh my god, Nojiko? Is that really you?” She asked, excitement rising in her voice.

“The one and only. So how have you been? I’ve read that you been busy. And I’ve also heard that despite all this, you manage to keep your captain from exploring as he sees fit.”

“Is that what he called to say? He came to complain about something that’s completely out of our control? Unbelievable. He knows that we can’t leave until the logpose sets.” There was a pause. “Oh, and a logpose is a compass for the Grand Line, because normal ones don’t work here, so they lock onto each island’s own magnetic field and guides you straight to the island. It’s really stupid, but they stop being as much of a hassle after a while.”

“Sounds like it. So you gonna tell me what you’ve been up to or not?”

“Fine, but it is gonna cost ya~.”


	5. Chapter 5

Today was a very rare occasion. It wasn’t often that this happened, because usually things went more his way. This was one of the few people on the ship that tended to encourage his dangerous behavior, if not found ways to encourage it. This man was almost always on his side, and to think that today he betrayed him in this way. There was no way that anyone else was going to take his side in the matter either.

Had he been a more rational guy, Luffy would have realized that he had been the one in the wrong here, and not Zoro. But rational, he was not. It was one of the times where his stubbornness ended up shooting him in the foot, and his childish nature just ended up pouring a mix of salt and lemon juice into it.

Because while this wasn’t a muteny, at the moment it felt like it was. He had only the support of Sanji, if only because the only other choice was to side with Zoro, and that was never an option. Zoro even had Brook and Robin on his side right now, and that was stupid, and it pissed him off to no end. Because in his opinion, this was far from completely his fault and he shouldn’t blame him for it.

If anything, it was Nami and Franky’s fault. They had been stuck at sea for a whole week now, and that was crazy boring and he had been just trying to find something to do, and no one was willing to help him, and it only kinda ended up in him accidentally making Zoro break his foot by making him drop a bunch of weights on it, and it was only a little funny to watch him hop around and swear. It got a lot less funny when people agreed that it was Luffy’s fault for trying to make Zoro look at the drawing while he was lifting weights and not taking no for an answer, and not just Zoro being clumsy.

So now he was stuck in the galley as Sanji prepared supper, which normally was something that he didn’t get to say, because usually this was a good thing. It wasn’t when you were sulking because all your friends betrayed you and this is where the only person on your team was. Though he felt as though he was getting progressively less on his team as he continued to place the blame on Nami, because in Sanji’s eyes women were incapable of crime. And that was dumb, but everyone was dumb in some way, and Luffy was pretty sure that teaching him otherwise would be about as easy as teaching Zoro directions.

 Or Nami not to be so stingy, or Usopp not to lie, or Brook to not also be gross, or Chopper not to be so naïve, or Franky to put on pants, or Robin to not do her creepy thing she did sometimes.

He had no idea he had so many grievances about his crew, but it was probably only because they had recently betrayed him in this way. Most of those things weren’t even things that he had problems with. And now he was mad at himself for being mad at his crew for being mad at him. Mostly he was just mad. And he made sure that Sanji knew this fact well, because this was dumb and Sanji was his only option of getting to complain about this to someone.

Though it seemed as though everyone had their limits, as with an annoyed sigh, the chef who was having clear regrets having chosen this side, set down his knife on the counter. It was probably because it was easier to rationalize with someone who did not have a knife. But at the same time, Luffy didn’t really care, because Sanji wouldn’t stab him, and even if he did, he wasn’t really too afraid of getting stabbed. Chopper was an excellent doctor.

“If you really have that big of a problem with Zoro, then why don’t you just tattle on him like you have with me, Usopp, and Nami?” The annoyed chef suggested, perhaps wanting to start some chaos of his own. Luffy considered this, because he hadn’t actually thought about that.

Though it would be a lot harder for him to tattle on Zoro, because he didn’t find Zoro in his town. He found him somewhere else completely. All he knew was that Zoro was from somewhere in the East Blue, and the narrowed it down to only like a bajillion restaurants to phone, and only a handful of them did he know the transponder snail number to. He’d be there all day trying to find it, and by then Zoro would probably have already stopped him, and that would be really lame.

But now that he thought about it, there was a number on one of his earrings he had noticed last time that they were napping on deck and he had woken up before he did, and was too comfortable to get up and leave. He had spent enough time looking at it, that perhaps it was something important, and that maybe it would help him out in his attempt to tattle on him. He hadn’t remembered it there before, so it had to mean something.

“That’s a great idea, Sanji!” A grin spread widely across his face after his thinking face had faded. Because now he had a course of action, and he was sure as hell going to take it. The receiver was in his hand as he dialled out the number he had seen on his crewmate’s earring.

* * *

 

It wasn’t often that he got phone calls. And that was exactly how he liked it. There was a very good reason as to why he had chosen this island, and it was so that no one bothered him. The only calls that he had planned on ever getting, were ones from the marines, and that was only ever to be during the direst of circumstances. If not, then no one had any reason to call him (except for a certain red haired pirate offering him an invitation to a party and other things).

So it was odd when his transponder snail started ringing. Surely this was the marines calling him to action that he’d be the judge on whether or not he was going to attend, or it was Red Haired, and he’d simply let him ramble on until he was content with letting the conversation end, and then he’d endure another visit from him, and wish that he had not given away his location that one time when they were drinking together. Alcohol continued to bite him in the ass, and yet he continued to indulge. He really needed to limit the amount he drunk around him.

“And might I ask who is calling my residence and why?” He asked coldly into the receiver, and without any greeting other than that.

“I’m Monkey D. Luffy, and I’m gonna be King of the Pirates, and I’m calling because Zoro’s being a real jerk!” There was silence as he processed the amount of stupidity that had just entered his ears.  There was only two reasons as to why he would have his number, and that was either that Red Haired had found him, they had partied together, and that he had given away his number, or Perona had done something behind his back, and now he was stuck with two idiots with his number.

If he knew Red Haired, then he would without a doubt have called beforehand during or after the party to tell him all about how Luffy had grown since he last saw him and told him all about how both of their little rookies were doing great, and he’d just let him ramble on, because telling him that Zoro was not his rookie was a fool’s errand and a fight that he knew he wasn’t going to win. Because you simply didn’t argue with a drunk man. It had the same effect as arguing with a wall, with all the fun of it.

So he hung up.

Seconds later, he was called back again. He chose to ignore it. Hopefully Strawhat wasn’t like Red Haired, and got the message after he let it ring long enough. Because as pigheaded as the Strawhat boy was, he couldn’t nearly be as bad as Red Haired.

Three hours had passed, and still the transponder snail rang. Why had destiny cursed him to deal with so many children? Why had this become his life? What had he done to deserve two Red Haireds to bother him like this? He could very well just destroy the transponder snail, but that would just make it so he had no warning when the actual Red Haired showed up, and made it so he couldn’t go to the minimum required Warlord’s meeting and end up with his status revoked. And both of those were hassles that he didn’t want to deal with.

He picked up the receiver once more with an annoyed sigh.

“Just take away his alcohol for a bit. You’re the captain. You have the power to do that.” And before he hung up, he heard Strawhat yell, “HEY ZORO! YOUR DAD SAID NO MORE BOOZE UNTIL YOU’RE NOT A JERK!”

But he was done taking calls for the day, so if Zoro did call, he wouldn’t get it. It would probably be better for his training anyways if he didn’t drink. It would make it so that it would be a much more interesting fight once they did square off.

But he was still going to have a word about this with Perona. Because now he had two Red Haired to deal with and that was entirely on her, and he was none too pleased.


	6. Chapter 6

While he was out on the sea and learning all sorts of cool new medical information and techniques, and had seem many different doctors performing those same techniques, so far one had stayed at the very top of his list. It may have been because he was just a tad biased, but Drum Island was still one of the places where medicine stood out and was famous for it, and he knew for a fact that it wasn’t a case like that doctor who he wasn’t even going to name who turned out to just be making zombies and going into territory that was better left untouched and only for money and not for some better reason like giving grieving families a chance to say goodbye or something like that. At least she only did it because it was usually stuff she needed.

And it was because that he knew of this information that he had to call her. She was still the best doctor on the island, even with all the doctors coming to the island to teach new techniques and different remedies now that Wapol was gone for good, she was still the best of the best. And that’s why it was so important that he call her, because she was no doubt the right person to ask for a cure for what ailed him. Because if anyone could, it would be her.

But because there was all those doctors, it also meant that there were all those patients, and all those people that were there to learn all the different treatments. Doctorine was probably really dealing with all of that, because she was the best at all this stuff and he couldn’t really see her being outdone by a bunch of new doctors like that, so she was probably in charge of the whole medical scene because of it. So she’d probably be just crazy busy.

But she would be the best person to ask about this, seeing as illness was something best left to be discussed with other doctors, and as much as he loved his crew and they were all really capable people, he was the doctor, and if he couldn’t figure out how to deal with this, then the odds for the rest of his crew were pretty low. They were smart, but they didn’t study medicine, and that was the kind of smart that he needed.

And seeing as they had a white transponder snail, it wasn’t like what he was doing was anything dangerous. It wasn’t going to put any of them in danger, because those made it so the signal couldn’t be tracked, so that meant that they were good, right? And it felt like since almost everyone else got to get a phone call home, that this should only be fair. It just wouldn’t be Luffy doing the calling this time. That would only be one of two facts that made this completely different. The other was that this was official business and this wasn’t just for him. This was for medical reasons and that meant that it was completely justified and even if it wasn’t he was a pirate and that meant that he could break the rules right? He wasn’t even sure if it was a rule that he couldn’t use the phone, and he was pretty sure that that was just Luffy anyways.

He had managed to talk himself into it. He was going to call her and that was that. He pulled over a chair from the table because while he could just as easily change forms and stand and reach it easily, but he felt like this was more convenient just in case the call ended up going long and he needed to rest his legs. It was possible that the procedure or whatever treatment was needed would take a while to explain and that he would also keep a pen and paper with him just in case it was so he wouldn’t forget anything.

Hopefully the number for up in the castle would be the one that he’d need to get to her. She could’ve moved somewhere that wasn’t completely out of the way, but she also had a lot of stuff up there so that she could do procedures with, and it’d be just as easy to build onto what she already had, and as out of the way it was, it was a nice set up and it’d be a great place to build off of for stuff. There was lots of room there already so it was basically already a proper hospital. He’s just have to take a risk on this one, because a risk was really all that he had.

He took a deep breath and put in the number. Hopefully this worked, because he’d very much like to find a cure for what ailed him.

He was not prepared for when an unfamiliar man answered the phone. It was at least a fairly good conformation that at least the castle was still in her control.

“Drum Castle Medical, how can I help you?”

“Yes, can I talk to Doctor Kureha please?”

“Do you have an appointment? She’s a very busy woman.” His heart sink a little, because this was going to make talking to her just that much harder, because he did not have an appointment, and he didn’t even think he needed one of those to talk with her over the phone. Who knows how long this would take. It could be months until he could talk to her. He wasn’t sure if he even had that much time.

“What if it’s urgent? I just need to talk to her quickly about something really quickly, I promise that I won’t waste too much of her time.”

“I can make you an appointment and then you can talk to her as soon as she has an opening, how about that?” He didn’t really appreciate being treated like he was just some other doctor or a patient calling up to make an appointment. He couldn’t say that he thought he deserved special treatment because of their relationship, but he couldn’t say he’d be opposed to it.

“I guess.” It was better than nothing after all.

“Name please.”

“Tony Tony Chopper.”

“Alri- wait. Like Dr. Tony Tony Chopper? The reindeer that Dr. Kureha trained and then left to be a pirate? Aren’t you some kind of prodigy? Why didn’t you say it was you sooner? This changes everything. Hold on, I’ll go grab her.” He wasn’t flattered about being called a prodigy at all. He wasn’t sure what that bastard was tryin to pull but it wasn’t gonna work. But he was going to get Doctorine, so that was good. He couldn’t fault this man who was doing his best to flatter him to no avail.

But he had to get his head on straight, because this was serious business and now he had to get ready for her for when she picked up the phone. If she was busy, then he wouldn’t have all that much time to get the information that he needed.

“Chopper? What’s the problem? I was told it was urgent.” It was great hearing her voice again. He had really missed it.

“Well I think I’m sick, and since you’re the best doctor I know I figured that you’d know the best way to cure it.”

“Alright, well what do you think you have? We can go from there and figure out how to deal with it.”

“I’m homesick.” While not a traditional illness, he felt that it counted as one. As much as the Sunny had become his home, he still missed being on Drum. It had only been a few months since he had left, and he still missed the days he used to spend there, even if his life had become all the more lively and interesting. He couldn’t help but be a little home sick over all this.

“Well that’s an easy enough fix. But before I get to that, how about I tell you about how things are doing over here, and you tell me if your condition gets any worse.” He could tell what she was doing, and it was exactly what he had wanted. She was probably hearing all about what he had been up to, because they were really making a big splash in the news. But on the other hand, even if it was becoming a big part in the medical community, it probably wouldn’t end up making the news. There weren’t a lot of medical magazines or anything like that, and a lot of the islands that they went to didn’t carry them.

“That sounds good, thanks.”


	7. Chapter 7

Sometimes He just wasn’t fair at all. Today was one of those times because all sorts of cool things were being made in his workshop and he was being kicked out. It really wasn’t fair because Usopp got to watch and help but when he did he wasn’t “supposed to touch that” or was being “too loud”. And that was just rude, so rude that that meant that he had to find an adultier adult than him to tell on him to. Robin was a good candidate for this, but at the same time she didn’t fit because she wasn’t someone who was responsible for him. Tom was the only other person he could think of, but he was dead so that wouldn’t really work.

And then it hit him.

Icepops would totally count as an adult in this situation, because he was older and he was like Franky’s older brother so that meant that he was basically in charge of him. He didn’t have parents growing up, and that’s how they rolled, so why should this be any different? Now he just had to think of what number he was going to call, because he didn’t remember the Galley-La number, or if he was even told it, so that meant that this was going to be a lot harder than he originally thought. And that meant that there was going to be a lot of thinking on his part now.

He could just do the same thing he did and call a restaurant and hope for the best, but he did a lot of eating at stands there. And that made things just a bajillion times harder. Now he had to think. It wasn’t like it was like at Nami or Usopp’s islands were they really only had one restaurant, and it wasn’t like Alabasta where there was actually a million restaurants and he just guessed. He had to go through all of the different places that he ate in Waters 7 and pick out all the different stands and stuff that he ate at and remove them from the running entirely. Because as great as he remembered the food being, they were not in anyways.

Finally he did remember one place, and he was just gonna hope that it was still open cause that Blueno guy ran the bar, and he fucking kicked his ass because he was part of the group that stole Robin and that wasn’t allowed in any way. But now that that bull guy was gone, that meant that someone else had the bar, right? If not, someone would probably answer it. It was his only option now, and it was probably his best shot because everyone in Waters 7 knew who Icepops was. And that made things way easier. It was just like getting someone to get Vivi in Alabasta, because everyone knew her. It was the perfect plan.

He punched in the numbers, and then he waited. It wasn’t too long before someone picked up.

“The Crow Bar, what can I do for you?” He was thrown off by the name. Because that was not the name of the place he phoned. They must’ve just changed names.

“Yeah, can you get Icepop’s on the line? Franky’s being a jerk and Icepops is like his big brother, so he’d be the guy I’d go to to get him in trouble.”

“Luffy? Is that you? What did Franky do?”

“He kicked me out of the work shop because I was being loud or something, but I was just helping and he was being dumb.” He was pretty sure that he was talking to one of Franky’s sisters right now. And that be so much better if they yelled at him. It would be like when he got to scold Ace when they were little. This was going to be awesome and he couldn’t wait.

“Go get him and we’ll have a word with him and see what we can do.” She told him. He set the receiver down and ran off to go find him. He should still be in the workshop working on whatever thing he was when he kicked him out of there. He couldn’t help the smug grin that was on his face because this was great and having access to a transponder snail was probably the greatest thing that had ever happened to him.

He stuck his head down into the workshop where Franky was. He could see him opening his mouth to tell him to get out again, but he interrupted him before he could say anything.

“Someone’s on the transponder snail for you.” Franky squinted at him for a moment, but set aside his project and got up. Even if he wanted to go see what it was he was working on, he was picked up by the back of the shirt and carted off. Now it was a little stupid because getting a peek was part of his plan, but that was fine because Franky was going to get in trouble and that made it worthwhile.

He was only set back down when Franky got to the transponder snail, and he made sure that he wasn’t too far from it so he could still keep his eyes on him. If it weren’t for the fact that that was kinda a fair choice, he’d be offended. But since he knew how much of a trouble maker he was and how little he felt ashamed of the fact, he was unbothered. Besides, he was about to hear him get in trouble. And it was going to be hilarious.

“Hello?” He said into the receiver. It’d only be a few moments now. He could hardly wait.

“Franky!” His sisters greeted cheerfully.

“Kiwi?! Mozu?! Not that I mind, but why are you guys calling? Everything alright over there?”

“We weren’t the ones calling, Luffy called us actually. He wasn’t too happy about you not letting him help in your lab or something?”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” He said looking over from the transponder snail to him and giving him a stern look that kinda looked like the one Dadan used to give him when he was younger. Needless to say it had the same effect.

“So be nicer to your captain. He works hard, okay?”

“You guys are the worst at scolding.” He had to add in, because honestly this was like they weren’t even trying.

“Luffy, give them a break. They’re obviously just having a hard time because you’re here and it’s makin it awkward, bro. How about you step outta the room for a bit and I can tell you when you can come back in. How about that?” Franky offered.

Well if he left, that meant that he wouldn’t get to hear him get in trouble, and that was kinda going to be the most fun part of all of this. It would be really lame if he didn’t get to hear any of it even after he put in all this work to find the right number and everything. It’d be a waste of all that effort. But what if it wasn’t, and he just hide behind the door instead of going out on deck or whatever it was he wanted him to do while he waited for him to be done getting in trouble. It was probably his best idea yet, and it’d be his sneakiest idea yet, because Franky would have no idea until it was too late. It was really his best plan yet.

“Alright, shishishi.” He’d escort himself out of the galley, and then he’d press himself up against the other side of the door to listen in so he wouldn’t miss a detail. He bet that right now Franky thought that he was going off to go mess around in his workshop while he back was turned. He was gonna be so surprised when he opened the door and saw that he was listening to him getting in trouble the whole time. The best part was was that by then he would have already won and there was nothing he could do to change that.

As he got cozy at his spot behind the door outside of the galley, he could hear them start up talking again. He got ready to hear the scolding. But the scolding never came.

Instead he was treated to listening to them talk about what they had been doing since Franky left, and Franky was telling them most of the important details of their adventure. Franky was the best at getting the details right, because he knew which ones were the important ones. He was a little disappointed, but he was also glad that he had caused this outcome. He was glad to hear his crew get to talk to their loved ones like this, even if it really only happened cause he was being a gigantic butt faced jerk to him. But it was still nice to hear.

But there was only so much he could really listen to, so he decided that he’d rather go and look at what he was keeping secret from him.


	8. Chapter 8

Being out on the sea sometimes made it hard to track dates. Being the kind of guy he was also made it really hard to keep track of dates. Normally stuff like that didn’t really matter, but there was one day that was important enough for him to try to remember. He had done a pretty good job of remembering it, even after Ace had gone out to sea.

Seeing as they were almost half of the way through the Grandline, it made getting a gift so much harder to do, but with how long he had been off at sea and having fun, a call would probably be a good idea. Especially considering that there’s been a lot of danger that he’s had to deal with in the past little bit just because of how the pirate’s life was. It’d probably be a good way to let her know that he was doing okay in between them making the newspaper. It’d be nice to see how she’s been doing anyways.

The only real problem that he had, was that she lived in the middle of nowhere, and that made it so much harder to call her. As far as he knew, they didn’t have a transponder snail, and if they did get one since he lived there, he had no idea what the number was. Mountain bandits were the worst. They were always there when you were trying to do stuff, and as soon as you tried to find them they just disappeared completely. This is why he was a pirate. Pirates didn’t have to worry about that stuff because they traveled lots and weren’t pinned down to one spot and had good excuses for not being places at times.

This meant that he was going to have to get really crafty with how he did it. This was going to have to be the craftiest he’s ever done with his phone calls. And that meant a lot of thinking, and she had better enjoy her gift because a lot of thinking was hard to do, and if he did it too much, he’d get a headache and that would really suck.

He had to think back to places that she’d go to. She spent a lot of her time up in her hut, cause she did a lot of telling everyone where they had to be and when they had to be. And since there were a lot of them up there at really any given time, that meant that she had to be up there in case someone was dumb or wasn’t doing what they were supposed to and ruining plans for everyone. She also spent a lot of time drinking up there, so that was the other thing that she did when she wasn’t telling everyone what to do.

Booze came from bars. Makino worked at a bar near the mountain. Makino was also friends with Dadan, so that meant that she was probably going to be going up there with some free booze. It was perfect because he knew the bar’s number off by heart, cause it was the very first transponder snail number that he had to learn. It’d also be good cause then he could talk to Makino and tell her about how they had finally gotten their hands on some money, so he was probably getting close to being able to pay off his treasure tab at the bar. Hopefully she hadn’t started going up the mountain yet. Cause if she did then there was no way that he’d be able to talk to either of them today.

It wasn’t too late in the day, and Makino had to have gone up the mountain a million times so it probably didn’t take her too long to walk all the way up there anymore. There was still a chance that it’d take a while cause it was a big forest so there was still a chance that she’d get lost, even if she’d been there before. She didn’t spend nearly as much time in there as he did, but there was probably also the chance that at this point she’d have a bandit walk her up. The Dadan family may have been mountain bandits, but they were definitely the least awful and bad of the bunch when they wanted to, and for all the time she spent up there she was probably basically part of the family by now. He wouldn’t be surprised if the bar was under their protection, even if a lot of the time there wasn’t really much to protect it from.

He was just wasting daylight thinking about this now, and he really had to go and make that call now. Every moment he wasted was another that Makino could be leaving to go up the mountain. So he marched into the galley and grabbed the receiver and sat down next to the snail. He punched in the number, saying them as he went along so he wouldn’t forget a number and call the wrong place. He knew the number well, but he had practiced it so many times this way, that he couldn’t not say the numbers as he went along.

It rang for a little bit, but then a familiar voice chimed.

“Party’s Bar, Makino speaking, how may I help you?” Makino greeted.

“Hi Makino! It’s Luffy!”

“Oh my goodness, hi Luffy. What do I owe this pleasure?”

“Well I wanted to call Dadan, but mountain bandits are stupid and don’t have transponder snails, and I thought cause since they like booze that the best place to call would be the bar.” He was very to the point, but he was a man on a mission today. And it was important that he made this call today, or it didn’t count.

“Oh, she’s not here at the moment, but she’ll be coming down later today to celebrate. Sometime around supper maybe?”

“That sounds good, I’ll be ready for sure by then. And it’s a lot easier this way cause you won’t have to go all the way up to the hut at the top to celebrate with ‘em. I bet it beats walking up a mountain for an hour. Shishishi.” Normally he wouldn’t mind, but considering it was a mountain that they were bother really familiar with, he knew that it’d be a really boring walk. Walks were really only ever fun when you were exploring, and that mountain wouldn’t be anything new for her at all.

“Oh I don’t mind. It’s nice to take a walk in the forest to see them every now and again instead of them coming down to visit.” She assured. But speaking of assuring, there was something that he had to tell her before he forgot.

“Oh! Oh! Makino guess what!” This for some reason got a chuckle out of her. He had no idea why because right now this was a serious conversation they were having and there wasn’t really any room for jokes. And he hadn’t even given her the good news yet so it couldn’t be a happy laugh.

“What?”

“I might have saved up enough of my adventure money that Nami gives me when we get to port to have enough to pay you off with that treasure tab that I still gotta pay off.”

“That’s wonderful, Luffy. But you focus your money on helping your adventure first. Once you have lots of berries, then you can worry about paying off your tab, okay?”

“No, I’m gonna keep working towards it unless we really really need the money for something. And when I end up with extra money then it’ll be fine! But until then I’m still gonna work on my treasure tab.” Because Makino always gave him really good food when he was growing up, and he felt that he should really pay her back with real money after all this time.

“So do I get to hear about your adventures now?”

“Not yet. I’m gonna wait until all you guys are there so I can just tell you guys all about it all at once. Besides, pirate stories are best told at parties. It makes things way more exciting.” And then a brilliant thought came to his mind.

“And since it’ll be around supper time, all my crew will be in the Galley and I can get ‘em to talk to you guys! It’ll be like meeting them before you actually meet them! It’ll be great! You guys are gonna love them!” He couldn’t wait to brag about his crew to all of them. He was really proud of all the friends he had made since he had sat off, because he wouldn’t be half the pirate he was today without them.

“Alright, I’ll keep it a surprise then, okay?”

“Oh! That sounds like a really good idea!”

“Alright, I should get back to getting ready. Bye.”

“Bye!”


	9. Chapter 9

It would’ve been way easier for him to have given his crew any warning at all, but that was no fun. What he and Makino had been planning was a surprise. And if he had told anyone about it, it would’ve been ruined for everyone and then it would’ve just been lame. Now it was going to be fun for everyone, and because of that, his original plan hand only become like a million times better. Because most of his first family was going to meet most of his now family, and they were gonna become just one big family and it was going to be great. It was the perfect idea to celebrate.

And now that the meal was over, it was time to strike while the iron and the plates were still hot. And before anyone could stop him, he was over to the transponder snail, and he put in the numbers while he was ignoring everyone’s “Luffy who are you calling?”s and “Who fucked up this time?”s. He didn’t have time to do answer any of those questions right now because he was on the phone. They were gonna have to wait. Didn’t they know the rules of phones?

It wasn’t long before Makino picked back up.

“Hi Makino it’s me! My whole crew’s here too! Say hi to Makino guys!” He held out the receiver to his crew, and was met by very confused greetings from most of his crew. There were a few party poopers, but that happened from time to time and was to be expected. And then he brought back to himself. “So is Dadan down there yet?”

“Luffy who are you talking to? Who are those people?”

“Well Makino runs a bar, and Dadan’s the head mountain bandit. But it’s okay because she’s cool even if she is a mountain bandit.”

“Were their even mountain bandits on this island?”

“I dunno, but if there was they’d probably suck. Mountain bandits are the worst.”

“No, I’m afraid we’re back in the East Blue. I took care of Luffy when he was young, and Dadan took care of him until he was old enough to go and become a pirate.”

There was a silence that came from his crew. It only really lasted a few seconds before Usopp spoke again.

“Oh my god you poor woman. We can barely get him under control now as an adult I can’t imagine him as a child.”

And then a grizzled voice that came from the million years of chain smoking that she had done popped up on the transponder snail.

“He hasn’t changed a damn bit. He’s still a stubborn brat who you can’t get to do anything and who’ll eat your place clean.” Dadan gripped from wherever she was sitting. She sounded a little far away but he could still hear her loud and clear, even if Makino was giggling a little at it.

“I can barely keep him out of the kitchen before meal times. I gotta say, it’s pretty impressive that you managed to keep him out before meals. Did Ace help you with that?” Sanji added in.

“Did Ace help me with that? I had to fend off both those fucking gremlins from the kitchen. We kept ‘em busy by sending ‘em out to hunt for their food. It was the only way we could keep those two monsters from eating everything we owned before we could touch it. I think I still have bite marks on my arm from one of those bastards.”

“Maybe I should start getting him to fish more. There hasn’t really been as much of a need since the Sunny has an aquarium on board.”

“You’re an idiot for not keeping him busy, it’s the only way to keep anything safe from him, I swear to god.”

They continued talking about him for a little bit, but he stopped listening. Sanji had actually gone over and was now talking into the receiver to continue on the conversation. But as the two talked and it started to meld into nothingness, he really had to wonder. Sanji smokes about a third what Dadan does on a good day, but he still smoke just a crazy amount like her. Did that mean that one day, Sanji would sound exactly like Dadan? Sanji was never going to be able to yell at him ever again. Because now it’d just change in his brain to Dadan yelling at him, and the two of them looked so drastically different that it was just pure gold.

And it wasn’t even Just Sanji that smoked that much. One day Smoke guy would end up sounding just like Dadan too. And that was possibly the best thought that he had ever thought of. Nothing would ever rival this for the entire time that he was alive. It was going to make running into marines so much fun now because Smoke guy didn’t look anything like her either. They probably had the same-ish shoulders though, but that would probably be it.

But while he was thinking about all this, he remembered something really important. He had introduced his crew as a whole, but he didn’t tell Makino and Dadan about them yet. And that was really important because he had introduced them to his crew. It was only fair that he tell them who all his crew was.

“I forgot to introduce you guys!” He said, indifferent to the fact that he had just interrupted Sanji and Dadan’s bonding session that they were having over his eating and bathing habits. But his thing was more important so that could wait until he was done, and then they could cry about it all they wanted and he wouldn’t be bothered by it at all. He knew he was bad, but he also had no shame so he didn’t feel bad about it.

“So they guy you’re talking to right now is Sanji. He’s our cook and he’s the best there is and can probably make any kind of food out there but better. He’s also got the strongest kicks out of anyone on the whole sea probably, and is really really good at kicking me out of the kitchen.”

“What can I say, you’ve given me tons of time to practice.” He sounded a bit salty about that, but that was fine cause he was moving on.

“The guy that was asking who you guys were was Usopp, and he’s our sharpshooter and has the best aim I’ve ever seen, except for maybe Sniperking, but that doesn’t count cause he’s from Sniper Island and that gave him an unfair head start. If Usopp was from Sniper Island he’d probably kick Sniperking’s ass. And also Usopp tells really good stories and he’s always the fastest at finding new islands.”

“Geez Luffy, you don’t gotta lay it on so thick.” Usopp said, despite looking very flattered. Speaking of very flattered.

“And our ship doctor’s Chopper, he doesn’t have a real good bounty yet, but he’s still really strong and as good as he is to have in a fight, he’s even better to have to patch you up, because he’s one of the best doctors out there even if he doesn’t have thumbs most of the time cause most of his forms are more deer than human and that’s part of what makes him extra cool.”

“Saying stuff like that won’t flatter me at all you bastard~” Chopper sang and he wiggled in his chair.

“Nami’s our navigator, and she’s the best one out there because she can get us anywhere and through anything. She so good that she also can control weather and that means she’s really cool to watch fight and she’s also the reason why we’re not broke all the time cause she’s the best at money and she keeps track of where it all goes and also won’t let me buy a bronze statue for the ship.”

“Aw, Luffy…. You’re still not getting your statue.” He shrugged and kept going.

“Robin’s really smart and knows more stuff about history than anyone, and she’s also the best at figuring stuff out and she’s got a really cool devil fruit power where she can make arms and legs and she fights so fast with them it’s awesome!”

“Thank you, Luffy.”

“Zoro’s one of the best swordsmen on the whole planet probably, and he’s also one of the toughest guys I know cause he gets really messed up in every big fight he’s ever been in, and he always bounces back, and he’s also the best nap buddy when he’s not training.”

“Just doin my job, captain.” He shrugged off, but he was grinning and he didn’t miss that.

“Franky’s one of the guys who built our entire ship with just a few other guys, and he’s the also the guy that planned it all out and stuff. He’s really good at building basically anything, and he’s also a super cool cyborg who’s powered by cola, and he’s a super awesome guy.”

“That’s super nice’ve you to say, bro.”

“And Brook’s the newest member of our crew. He’s a really fast skeleton with an afro and he’s also the best musicians I’ve ever heard! I’ve only got to see him fight a few times, but it’s so cool and fast. He can get you before you even knew that you got got!”

“Aw Luffy, you’re making me blush. Although, I don’t have skin OR blood! Skull joke!” The two of them laughed about it, and then he went back to business.

“And that’s all my crew. Now you’re ready to hear about our adventures. But just one more thing first.”

“And what would that be, brat?”

“Happy birthday, Dadan.”

 


End file.
